This post is a mélange, it is a rant, a recollection of events, and perhaps an accounting of hope. To understand even a little bit, you probably have to be single and going through the trial of spouse hunting.
For the past six years, my parents have renewed their membership on Kerala matrimony. You probably already know where this is going. Anyway, there I was feeling ‘hmm, we shall see how this goes’, while my parents where all that was optimism and positive. I am sure they thought the endeavor would be done within a few months, let alone last as along as it did. So now, 6 years later, and no “successful” outcome later, I sit and recollect my adventures from this project.
Let me tell you beforehand, the entire process has too many people giving in their opinions and whatnot. It includes uncles, aunts, grandparents, your parents’ uncles, aunts and their children as well; and of course yourself.
And so far this has been the “process”. A lot of interests and communications come in and then get filtered and then your horoscopes get matched and only if it matches do families go ahead further, doing a background check and all. Then finally the girl and the guy meet. There have been a few hundred of these communications at first, about 50% of these have proceeded to the horoscope stage and I have met about 4 prospective spouses. None of it worked out. Now I know, this may not be so in most cases, but at the end of this process, somehow, I was told that I was to blame! And I still haven’t a clue about that logic!(Perhaps, I am writing this to figure out what went wrong?!?!)
Case 1 – This was a little weird because I didn’t really meet the guy, but met someone related to him along with someone else. The two people who came, well, all questions put forth to my parents were fiscally related and somehow, it left a bad feeling in one’s mouth. Finally we received their communication and it was a “we are not interested in proceeding further”. Probably because we didn’t have as many cars as they would have liked or some such crap. Good riddance!
Case 2 – This guy came with his relatives, drank tea, ate snacks, and left. While everyone else who came were very cordial and spoke well, the guy himself was very reserved and I don’t think anything I said or did would have made him relax. :| This was a disaster in the making and I was really not interested. I may not be a total extrovert but I am not shy! Anyway, when they left, and we received their communication and it was the same as case 1. I just hope this guy found/finds someone who is apt for him, it just wasn’t me. My father understood that we were ill-matched, but the criticism I received on this account left me in tears. How I cried that day! One good thing did come out of this – I decided never to cry because of another human being, so no one makes me cry from here on!
Case 3 – This was a case similar to case 1. All talk of money and bling. Also same end result.
Case 4 – This case was peculiar. They came, they drank tea, they went. And that was all it was.
I don’t feel bad about all this, because if it is meant to be, it will be. My behavior was as I was told to behave, yet my relatives have told me it was my fault. But I don’t really care about that, except it puts my parents under too much pressure. I do think that there is a shortage of single mallu guys in the world! This is the only reason I can think of for my problems on this front.
So now I review my expectations. I love my family and would like someone who understands that, and is close to his family as well. Work-wise for me, it would depend on circumstances post marriage. Presently, I’m working for my father, so it’s been a while since I’ve held a corporate job, though I’m not averse to it. Books, art, music are my interests, if I find someone to share these it would be great, but to each his own. Basically, I want to end up with a person with whom one can be silent, and not find it awkward (…to share a companionable silence). I do not think I expect too much, or do I?
What to do? … or not to do? Anyway, life does go on. I shall write more on this as and when updates happen. But dear Reader, do let me know if I am expecting too much. Perhaps all I need is Luck! :)