Pain can be of many types. You stub your toe and it hurts. You get a burn or an open wound it’s going hurt more later than in the beginning. But the worst is when your heart is hurt.

I recently heard two people talking, about me. They were under the impression that I was not in the vicinity, unfortunately I was. The crux of that conversation was that I am pretty much a useless,good-for-nothing, who will never amount to anything. Perhaps so, only time will tell.

Everyone is entitled to his or her own opinions, and so they had theirs pertaining to me. So then why did it hurt me so? I realise that no one wants to hear that one amounts to nothing,but this specially hurts even more so, because one person of the two was supposed to have my back no matter what. That’s what family does, doesn’t it? Also that instead of telling me that I must change myself and my ways to become a better person, they go talk about me when I am not around.

The disappointment and agony is more because this was so much beneath them. I never thought they were capable of such gossiping.

I shed a few tears, then I realised it didn’t matter if I don’t amount to anything. Who cares, they definitely don’t!

Heartbroken -Yes. Defeated – Not.

Prawn Curry (with kudampulli)

Originally posted on Renu's Recipes:

Prawn Curry Prawn Curry


  • Onion – 1 (The onions are to be sliced fine.You may cut an onion into 4 and then slice them to get very small fine slices.You also need some to be finely diced to add for tempering.)
  • Tomato – 1 (sliced)
  • Ginger – 1 inch piece (julienne)
  • Green Chillies – 4 (slit)
  • Kudampuli – 4 pods. (it is also known as malabar tamarind or brindle berry.)
  • Coconut – 1 cup grated.
  • Cumin – 1/2 tsp
  • Garlic – 2 pods. (finely diced)
  • Turmeric Powder – 1/4 tsp
  • Chilli Powder – 1.5 tsp
  • Prawns – 20-30 nos.
  • Curry leaves – a few
  • salt to taste.
  • oil as required


Grind the coconut and cumin to a fine mixture (buttery texture) and set aside.

In a vessel pour 2 cups of water and set to heat. When the water is boiling add the sliced onion, ginger, tomatoes and slit green chillies. Add turmeric…

View original 88 more words

Chicken Biryani



Originally posted on Renu's Recipes:

Chicken Biryani, served with pappadom, raita and lime pickle. Chicken Biryani, served with pappadom, raita and lime pickle.

1. Rice — 3 cups
2. Garlic — 6-8 pods
3. Saunf — 2 small spoons
4. Cinnamon — 2 sticks
5. Cardamom — 5
6. Cloves — 4
7. Ginger — gooseberry Size
8. Tomato — 2
9. Chicken — 3/4 kilo
10. Onion — 4
11. Cashew — 15
12. Raisins — 15
13. Turmeric powder — 1/4tsp
14. Chilly powder — 1 tsp
15. Coriander powder — 1tsp
16. Green chillies — 2-3slit
17. Salt to taste
18. Ghee
19. oil

Cook the Rice with 1tsp oil and salt to taste. When the rice is cooked, drain the water and keep aside.

Grind items 2-8 together to buttery consistency. Wash the chicken, add the ground paste with turmeric powder, chilly powder, coriander powder,salt and mix.Cook the chicken in a pressure cooker for one whistle.

In a big kadai…

View original 56 more words

All I need is Luck!

This post is a mélange, it is a rant, a recollection of events, and perhaps an accounting of hope. To understand even a little bit, you probably have to be single and going through the trial of spouse hunting.

For the past six years, my parents have renewed their membership on Kerala matrimony. You probably already know where this is going. Anyway, there I was feeling ‘hmm, we shall see how this goes’, while my parents where all that was optimism and positive. I am sure they thought the endeavor would be done within a few months, let alone last as along as it did. So now, 6 years later, and no “successful” outcome later, I sit and recollect my adventures from this project.

Let me tell you beforehand, the entire process has too many people giving in their opinions and whatnot. It includes uncles, aunts, grandparents, your parents’ uncles, aunts and their children as well; and of course yourself.

And so far this has been the “process”. A lot of interests and communications come in and then get filtered and then your horoscopes get matched and only if it matches do families go ahead further, doing a background check and all. Then finally the girl and the guy meet. There have been a few hundred of these communications at first, about 50% of these have proceeded to the horoscope stage and I have met about 4 prospective spouses. None of it worked out. Now I know, this may not be so in most cases, but at the end of this process, somehow, I was told that I was to blame! And I still haven’t a clue about that logic!(Perhaps, I am writing this to figure out what went wrong?!?!)

Case 1 – This was a little weird because I didn’t really meet the guy, but met someone related to him along with someone else. The two people who came, well, all questions put forth to my parents were fiscally related and somehow, it left a bad feeling in one’s mouth. Finally we received their communication and it was a “we are not interested in proceeding further”. Probably because we didn’t have as many cars as they would have liked or some such crap. Good riddance!

Case 2 – This guy came with his relatives, drank tea, ate snacks, and left. While everyone else who came were very cordial and spoke well, the guy himself was very reserved and I don’t think anything I said or did would have made him relax. :| This was a disaster in the making and I was really not interested. I may not be a total extrovert but I am not shy! Anyway, when they left, and we received their communication and it was the same as case 1. I just hope this guy found/finds someone who is apt for him, it just wasn’t me. My father understood that we were ill-matched, but the criticism I received on this account left me in tears. How I cried that day! One good thing did come out of this –  I decided never to cry because of another human being, so no one makes me cry from here on!

Case 3 –  This was a case similar to  case 1. All talk of money and bling.  Also same end result.

Case 4 – This case was peculiar. They came, they drank tea, they went. And that was all it was.

I don’t feel bad about all this, because if it is meant to be, it will be. My behavior was as I was told to behave, yet my relatives have told me it was my fault. But I don’t really care about that, except it puts my parents under too much pressure. I do think that there is a shortage of single mallu guys in the world! This is the only reason I can think of for my problems on this front.

So now I review my expectations. I love my family and would like someone who understands that, and is close to his family as well. Work-wise for me, it would depend on circumstances post marriage. Presently, I’m working for my father, so it’s been a while since I’ve held a corporate job, though I’m not averse to it. Books, art, music are my interests, if I find someone to share these it would be great, but to each his own. Basically, I want to end up with a person with whom one can be silent, and not find it awkward (…to share a companionable silence). I do not think I expect too much, or do I?

What to do? … or not to do? Anyway, life does go on. I shall write more on this as and when updates happen.  But dear Reader,  do let me know if I am expecting too much. Perhaps all I need is Luck! :)

Some updates.

If you have been following this blog since I began writing here, then you probably have read this.

This was when I had a major crush and my friends knew about it and blah blah blah. Back then I wondered if  I would ever get over it. Some people even said, it will always leave a pang in your heart.

But glad to report I found out it doesn’t. From one li’l bird to another li’l bird to another and so on, I came to know the guy is in a very committed relationship, i.e. married. For a second, I wanted to feel what heart-break felt like. I waited, and then waited some more. Nope, nothing. not even a small prick. So much for all that writing. Then I realised that feeling nothing was a good thing actually. And I felt happy! Immensely so, for when you thought in your naïve avatar, that a certain sort of information will get you down in the dumps, and now you actually don’t care about it, it just shows you are much more of a grown up than you estimated yourself to be. It also proves that you are so over it! Oh, I have known for ages about it, but it feels so good to have a confirmation, because you never know with this sort of thing i.e matters of the heart!

I do have to thank him, and the Gods as well for the emotion though. Had it not been for that phase, I wouldn’t have enjoyed some forms of poetry as much.

Anyway, while I was floating around in my happy bubble, my friend called and spoke to me about a few issues she was having while on an assignment abroad. Apparently there are middle-aged Indian men who are perverts everywhere! Now, she has to look for accommodation again! And so, my bubble burst a little. :( Hoping for better things in the future for her. (I think that race, caste, creed, religion doesn’t matter when it comes to such behavior, it is always condemnable. But as an Indian who has heard people talk about how Indian culture and traditions dictate treating others with honor and respect, this sort of person is worthy of  being cited as an example of how not to behave)

In other news, I have been chatting with one of my college mates whom I have been on good terms with. We were never good friends, nor were we just acquaintances – we are somewhere between. So Sid and I have been doing what perhaps should have been done a long time ago. Random words on random topics – it is a good way to get to know someone whom you can call a friend. :)

Also, one of my dear old friends, Rahul, left me hanging after hinting about a possible love story ala Bollywood style! Never ever do this anyone! It’s already brought on a headache. Rahul, if you are reading this, my head aches just thinking of the suspense. So it better be worth it. Seriously though, I wish you do have a nice little love story and your own un-poppable bubble of happiness, and may it be filled with pink glittery stuff! :) :) :)

Happy Father’s Day, Daddy!!!


“Any man can be a Father but it takes someone special to be a dad.”– Anne Geddes


This is for my daddy, as you have already figured out.

Everyone of us has an oldest memory. Mine is from when I was a baby. My father used to read the newspapers in the morning. He used to sit on the floor, spread the paper out in front of him and read it. And I, toddling away to glory,fascinated by what captivates my daddy, would sprawl myself on the papers. Each day, every day! I still remember how he used to pick me up and read the paper while holding me. Later when I started reading, I had my place next to him with my own little book. When I started school, I had to recite multiplication tables during this time. But never has he read the papers in peace when I am around. Even today. As my sister and I grew up, he read his papers at the table. never spread out, but properly held up. And I just had to walk by and give it a smack before going about my work.Though it has been noticed that he never does read the papers spread out on the floor or held up at the table if I am not around. And I realised that it was our very own father-daughter daily ritual.

There are a lot of men in my life – my father, my grandfathers and more than half a dozen uncles. All fathers themselves. My father and grandfathers have had the most influence in my life and I owe them a lot as well.


This post probably will be formatted rather horribly as my laptop is in a self induced coma, and I am posting this through my phone. :|

Eight years ago, I started blogging. There is a post I wrote when I was watching the 2006 football world cup even. Sports was a topic that one of my grandfather’s was passionate about. He never missed a match or tournament. The TV or the radio was always on during a match be it football or cricket or tennis or whatever.

My other grandfather was hardly interested in sports, being more into books and philosophy and science. His house was a library, it even included a really cool typewriter for use.
These two men along with my father have been instrumental in my learning a lot in life. On one side, I grew up listening to anything from a story about a boy who wondered why the apple fell on his head, to how a man experimented with peas. Sometimes it would be a story from ancient Indian texts. On the other side, there were trips to the park and looking at monkeys, learning to climb trees, basically being out and about. My grandfathers were completely opposite, but I had the best of both while they were around.

Daddy, well he taught me by making me do things. I learnt how to fix a fuse, make shelves, gardening, cycling, driving, a lot of stuff more by doing all of them under his tutelage.

In all these years, my father has never lost his temper or his patience. He has told me “no” when I have been absolutely unreasonable, and encouraged fair trial at home for disciplinary actions.
Above all, these three men have taught me the most important lessons in life – to love and to respect. Through their own childhood adventures I learnt about what not to do, or how not to get caught at mischief. Through their life, they’ve taught me the value of diligence, perseverance, and dedication. They’ve shown through example that no matter what life throws your way, it is up to you to give up or become resilient.

Basically all through my life I have learnt that my life is what I make of it. There may be obstacles, potholes deeper than a person can stand in, troubles that engulf you whole and go on for a time – but no matter what, you make use of it, turn it into a lesson, an experience that you come back from better than you were before.

Lessons are very important in life, no matter what the source. It helps make us better people. To have such men, fathers, in our life to teach us, to help influence and shape our personalities is a blessing. More so if you are a girl. A daughter has a special place in her father’s heart – I have heard it a lot in my life. And I believe it as well, how can I not when I am treated as one of daddy’s princesses.

Wishing all the Daddies in the world, a Happy Father’s Day!