I wish I had a Hideout

There are times when I wish I had a hideout. Now is one such time. I was happy this morning. I normally wake up like a dull draft… only picking up speed as it gathers energy. Obviously, my source of energy is food. And Coffee!!!

This is a rant. If you read any further, I may sour your good mood as well. So if you are really not interested, quit at this point and do not read any further. If you are in anyway related to me, I would suggest you do the same as well and stop reading further into this post.

As I went about the day, I got to know that my father was asked about someone. This someone had applied for a job and so, the boss-to-be (who happens to be my father’s friend) called him up and inquired.

Normally I do not have anything to care about when it comes to these affairs. My father, the benevolent soul that he is, normally does not have anything bad to say about anyone as well.

This someone happens to be the child of another of father’s ‘friends’. (The quotes are to denote my distaste) Ten years back, when I first joined work, my father gave my work email to this ‘friend’. And this ‘friend’ asked me to do something that was a conflict of interest. Obviously, I didn’t. I went and told my boss about this as well. But somehow this matter was not let go and I got another email and so on. Long story short, the episode left me in tears, and with the fear of losing my not-even-a-month old job.

Obviously, I feel disappointed. And I figure I have the right to rage as well.

To further annoy me, this evening a cousin called. Having passed some extra-curricular course that would perhaps be helpful in a career. Well done! I have nothing against my cousins, but I really don’t care much for their parents. This cousin’s father is someone who once advised my parents against letting me and my sister take up any extra-curricular course. He, in my hearing, asked my father why waste money on such things! Oh! how times have changed thanks to hypocrisy.

Now, last year I had asked my parents their opinion about continuing my studies. I had enquired and drawn up all the details. No one was OK with it. And they went ahead and made everything impossible as well. Yet, somehow anyone else pursuing their education, taking up any course is all fine with them – of course, as long as it not me.  In those few months, I sprouted more grey hair than I could count. It is true what they say about stress – turns your hair grey!

Somehow it is during times such as these that I want to seek a hideout. To get away from all this nonsensical hypocrisy. I hate it when people have one rule for themselves and another for everyone else. But I hate it even more that my family acts as if this is the normal stance. The rage I have inside of me today will, in all probability, make me dream of horsewhipping the lot of them.

That is exactly where my hideout is – Inside of me. That lovely and secluded place, far away from hurtful words/thoughts/deeds. Filled with good thoughts and fantastic memories, my hideout is a place of solace and peace. And it is all mine. No one can find it, nor will I share it with anyone. My Happy Place!

End of Rant.